Settling In

Today I went shopping in Ramallah’s sooq (marketplace). It is busy and positively pulsates with life: the shouting vendors, the trolley boys and the keen shoppers. This was the first time I had ventured into the sooq myself; previously I had always been with another of the international students.

To put it simply: I loved it. I felt that I could almost blend in with the shoppers and just become part of the scene. I loved being able to implement my limited Arabic ability to ask for my purchases: onions, apples and bread. One of the trolley boys even asked me if I wanted to use his trolley in Arabic and I was likewise able to answer him (‘la shukran’ ‘no thank you’). It was only when buying the bread that I had to fall into English - I didn't understand why they wouldn't let me buy the bag of bread I'd picked up and it turned out that it was old and so they wanted to give me fresh instead.

These past few days I have seen and heard much to despair about. We have been learning about the 1948 war in my Palestine Question class and I have been presented with a side of the story that I had never heard before. This 'other' story that gets so little coverage in the West is backed up and supported by UN observer reports, old British mandate papers and Israeli historians such as Benny Morris and, more recently, Ilan Pappe. My professor who took us through it was obviously heavily affected by the material we covered, it was after all the Palestinian 'nakba' ('catastrophe'), and he finished our class early - a thing he had never done so far in the semester (for he loves to talk).

I read two chapters of Ilan Pappe's book 'The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine' and they shook me, because they forced me to realise that that is just what took place here. The only question is whether it continues to this day...

I feel that by dropping words such as 'ethnic cleansing' on Israel's doorstep I will lose my credibility and be labelled as a leftist who blindly adheres to the Palestinian cause, which is why I would normally shy away from such claims. All I can do is challenge those who disagree with me to prove their case, and make clear that I am perfectly willing to defend my position if people wish to question me. Though Ilan Pappe is far more eloquent than I would be so I recommend his book to everyone, or at least the first chapter in which he presents the definitions of 'ethnic cleansing' and evidences how what has taken place in this land fits within it.

It has not just been this class and these readings that have induced the despair I have felt of late, it has also been brought on through speaking with various people. One Birzeit student opened up to many of us international students about how she felt about the current situation and where she felt things stood. It was not a hopeful picture. The thing that struck me and many of the other students was her affirmation that she would not speak with an Israeli person, even if she had the opportunity: 'We are not equal. They live in freedom and I live in occupation. How could I forget that?' We asked if she thought that the two peoples (Israelis and Palestinians) could ever co-exist side by side and she said: 'Not this generation, and not the next. Perhaps the one after.' However, she emphasised that she did not represent all Palestinians, no one could do that. And she, like so many other Palestinians I have spoken with, emphasised that she can only present the story as she knows it and that while she would not speak with Israelis, she thinks that we should so that we can hear their perspective. Just don't go telling her about it. She doesn't want to hear if we find the Israeli people to be kind and sensitive to the Palestinian’s plight: how does knowing that they are really decent people help the fact that she is living in an occupation?

People's perspectives and beliefs vary so much here. It struck me that it's no wonder there is no effective Palestinian leader: how can one person lead and represent such a diverse group of people?

Another Birzeit student I have met recently and who strongly affected me is O., who was recently released from prison (an Israeli prison in the Negev Desert). He had been charged with rock throwing which allegedly took place at the beginning of the second intifada (six years ago) when he was a minor. For this 'crime' he was interrogated for seven weeks and imprisoned for six months. He had been 'turned in' by another who had been arrested and similarly interrogated to the point where he gave the Israelis any and every bit of 'information' he could. Even now that he is released his trials have not ended as he must still attend court. Need I tell you what a warm and engaging person he is? Obviously highly intelligent and still embodying a light air and liberal attitude, despite his recent experiences. He jokes that at least he got to see the Negev (which the Palestinians call the Naqab), which he had always wanted to do and as a Palestinian he would not have otherwise been able to (since the Negev is in Israel).

And, as ever, the image of the security barrier is in my mind's eye. As are the dilapidated buildings and piles of rubble that I saw in the Golan Heights that were once Arab towns and villages.

But then there's also the marketplace - alive and bubbling.